Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
