I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
