so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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