You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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