TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
