I wish you could order shots online.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
