are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
