I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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