I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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