So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
