Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
