it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
