STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
