It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
