let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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