Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Randomize
