Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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