No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
