Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
That accounts for only three of the penises
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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