he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Randomize
