I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
