Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Your penis caused this!
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
