You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
