Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Randomize