you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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