wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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