Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
