Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
