why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
