My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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