My pussy is not your playground.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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