doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize