i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
