wanna go halves on a baby?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
