I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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