Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
