508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
