she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
