North Korea, Best Korea!
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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