Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
