nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
