I just made out with a guy for $7.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
