lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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