Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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