I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
