In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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