do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Randomize
