I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize