i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
