What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
