She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
True strength comes from lack of pants
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
