Whoa Z and x make the same sound
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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