Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize
