Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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