They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
