The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
