I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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