dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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