i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
