Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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