I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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