She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
