dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize