Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
