He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
