her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Randomize
