I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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