party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize