If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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