Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
