Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
