I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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