My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
