so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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