Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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