I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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