Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize